Eliminating The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying

Written by on December 10, 2015

Eliminating the TOP 5 Regrets Of The Dying.  

I remember reading a couple of articles on this  a couple of years back and I thought this will never me! I don’t want to have any regrets when I leave this planet and in a selfish way I don’t want you to have any either.

As Gary Vaynerchuck says, “The worse thing to have is regret when you can’t do anything about it.”

The great gift that you all have right now is that you can do something about the anything and everything that you might later regret. The question is will you? Here are the Top 5 Regrets of the dying and what you can do to make sure that they are not your regrets.

1. I wish that I’d had the courage to live a life that was true to myself, and not a life that others expected of me or wanted me to live.

This is one that I crushed. I was told that I couldn’t move to L.A. and become a professional musician. (I did it.) I was told that if I moved to Japan for a year I would lose all of my contacts and that my music career would be over. Not only did I move to Japan and have a GREAT time with my wife performing music and getting my financial house in order at the same time, but we came back with a new child and the ability to live a year without any financial worry. I also then got a new job working in music and later got a job starring in the Broadway Show RENT. (I did it.) After that I left the Broadway show because I wanted to do something different. To be specific I wanted to show others how they can pursue their dreams in the arts and how to do it. My wife and I started an acting school and we were told it was the worst time to start a business and that we would probably fail. Today we are the biggest professional acting school in the region. If I can do it you can do it. 

So how do you do it? Here are a few steps that I take to know that I am living the life that I want as apposed to the life that others want for me.

  1. If it excites my heart I pursue it.
  2. When others say it can’t be done I translate it internally to IT MUST BE DONE!
  3. Expect Fail along the way to success. Failure is a part of the journey towards success! LEARN FROM IT!

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

This is a big one. A lot of us have been taught that hard work is the only way to success, and that is partly true. However, you must be sure to take time and enjoy the fruits of your labor. You must take time to take breaks and by that I mean trips with the ones you love. Vacations or Staycations that involve you turning off your phone or your computer. Trust me…everything will still be there when you return. The only difference is that when you return you will be doing so refreshed and with some pretty invaluable memories and experiences with the ones that you love. #TakeBREAKSOften

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

This used to be a regret of mine, but I had a moment that was, as Jim Rohn says, was the day that turned my life around. My mom passed and when she did she taught me something even in her dying. I will never forget the moment that I sat there as she took her last breath. My mom was one who helped many people unselfishly. Sometimes her helping of others came at the expense of time and resources for our family, but that was what she felt that she wanted to do. We were often taught to put on a good face when things weren’t necessarily good and that presentation was sometimes more important that reality. So I learned to not express my feelings. The idea was that if it is going to hurt someone’s feelings then maybe you don’t need to say it. Remember the old Thumper quote from Bambi?

“If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all.” – Thumper

As an adult I have learned that sometimes the truth hearts and that pain is often the catalyst for life change in the receiver. As we sat in the room alone, just her and i, I also learned that you come into this world by yourself and you will leave this world by yourself. You owe it to yourself to be true to yourself and to express your feelings like it’s your job. Because it is! It’s your duty to yourself!

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I don’t know if this one was ever on my regret list. (Sorry any old friends who are reading this) I say that not because I don’t love keeping in touch with friends via Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram and the like, but I say it because some of my old friends I have outgrown and some of my old friends have outgrown me. I think that keeping in touch would have and could have done us both a disservice. However, I know that that is not the case for everyone. I really don’t have any thoughts on this one it’s just not my experience.

For me everyone is in your life for a season.  Some seasons are shorter than others and some seasons are longer than others. Some seasons return and bless you with the reacquaintance of old relationships and some don’t. If you have a desire to reconnect with old friends be proactive in doing so. That desire is your inner self calling you to return to that season or relationship for one reason or another.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This was a BIG one for me! I found that I was unhappy for no reason all of the time and then I realized something. Pretty much everything in the mainstream media is designed to keep you unhappy. I found that I became happier when I stopped allowing mainstream media to be a part of my life. When I took my brain off of the grid I found that I was happier and that everything around me became easier to celebrate and navigate.

Here is what I suggest. Take your brain off of the grid and the brains of those that you love off of the grid. 

Contrary to popular belief you don’t need to know what Kanye and Kim are doing today. Hell, you don’t even need to know what Donald Trump (or whomever it is that you find filling your daily hours with frustration) is doing today either. You have your own life to live and being present with those that you love and controlling the things that you can control and not worrying about the rest has been a key to more happiness that has changed my life. I know that it will help you too.

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” – Wayne Dyer


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